The Kentucky Derby has experienced a great resurgence in popular culture in the last five years. I started watching the Derby six-years ago. No, I wasn't ahead of the trendy curve, that's just when I started dating my future wife who required me to watch all four hours of coverage. It must have been love. As I settled in with many beers to suffer through four hours of a sporting event which I knew nothing about, I watched a very dated scene of social elite and Kentucky college kids mash into the twin peaks. The event's hosts spent the next three hours and fifty-eight minutes pouring over race histories of each horse, evaluating strengths, weaknesses, lineages, and track conditions, with the occasional human interest story thrown in. There was plenty of show boating and fashion displays, but almost exclusively from the unknown Kentucky elite, and only as lead-ins to the horse analysis. I think we spotted a total of one, maybe two B-celebrities who were given a quick opportunity to say hi and tell the camera their odds favorite.
The ensuing six-years my wife and I watched a steady accumulation of celebrities and rising attendance. The racing analysis gave way to more human interest stories, fashion analysis, and stargazing. Leading to today's coverage. The cameras began with focus on the attendees fashion and frequent interviews with attending celebrities. This gave way to a gossip piece on the, ahem, dating life of the greatest retired filly, whose name currently escapes me. (Just asked wife -- the name is Rachel Alexandra.) The story didn't end well, with the stud getting what he came for, and the filly being left pregnant and on her own. Heartbreaking. At least there is hope that she can put her child to work at age two to make some serious cash.
We saw a smug appearance from superbowl champion Aaron Rodgers, who was strangely looking like the love child of Jim Halpert and Ryan Howard. Then came the series of human interest stories and historical montages to draw in the viewers. This I found to be the most interesting part of the coverage. Not the actually stories themselves. They are all the same by now. The interesting point is that the station realized that nobody actually follows horse racing, so nobody knows or cares about who is racing. So if you want people to watch horse racing coverage for four hours you better find something to draw them in that competes with Jersey Shore and Extreme Home Makeover.
And that is exactly what they gave us. A heart-wrenching story of a female trainer who three years ago was on her deathbed waiting for a heart transplant. What is significant about her training methods to set her horse apart? Who cares. She almost died! And now she is at the Kentucky Derby! Then there is the made-for-the-movies story of the steely 23-year old woman jockey. Only the sixth woman to ever ride in the Derby, she shows the fearless resolve normally only found in cagey veterans. She suffered several falls and broken bones, but now is fighting doubts and skepticism to try and become the first woman to win the Derby. I particularly enjoyed the piece on the 50-year old jockey making his first Derby appearance with his father-in-law as the trainer. He stood before his daughter's elementary class talking about he would have his first chance to race in the Derby. Kind of a tear jerker.
After four hours of coverage (alright I was cooking through much of it) I knew almost nothing about the strengths of the horses to help me make a competent bet. But I did know who Charles Barkley, Ice-T, and several other celebrities were picking to win. And seriously, with as much as Barkley gambles can I really lose following his pick? I also spotted Joey Fatone, Detective Stabler from Law and Order, the aforementioned Aaron Rodgers, Lindsey Vonn, and a few other random celebrities. I saw the latest fashion updates on hats. Not a good look. And I cried and cheered with the run of human interest stories. Then they ran the race. Somebody won. Nobody cared. We all went home.
